I’m not so sure I’d want to take advice from The Hills’ Spencer Pratt, but Radar magazine thought it was a good idea to give the reality douche his own advice column.

His first cry for help comes from a girl who got so drunk she passed out and wet the bed of a guy she’s dating. Cute.

Spencer Pratt’s advice? Check out his Yo Spencer column for the full details, but part of his response: “I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she’s pissing in bed. It’s time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy.”