Oprah is being brutally honest in her January issue of O magazine hitting the shelves today – she writes about her 40 pound weight gain and how she now weighs in at 200 pounds. And she’s not happy about it.

Oprah says in the issue, “I’m mad at myself. I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again?’ “

Oprah talks about her thyroid condition that led to “a fear of working out,” and how she went from 160 pounds in 2006 to 200 pounds at present.

Oprah continues, “Yes, you’re adding correctly; that means the dreaded 2-0-0. I was so frustrated I started eating whatever I wanted — and that’s never good.”