Nikki McKibbin, who came in third on the first season of American Idol, and will be seen in the upcoming second season of Celebrity Rehab, says that Simon Cowell is partly to blame for her drug and alcohol addictions.

No doubt that Simon Cowell’s words hurt, but Nikki McKibbin claims his comments contributed to her downward spiral.

Nikki McKibbin tells Us Weekly, “I came out of Idol with a lack of self-confidence… I had never been told I wasn’t good enough. Having to hear it for so many weeks from Simon Cowell killed me inside. I couldn’t get the s–t he had said to me out of my head.”

McKibbin added, “It drove me deeper into my depression. I wouldn’t say that this was Simon’s fault. It just added to the addict that I already was.”

Check out the sneak peek preview of Celebrity Rehab, which airs October 23 at 10 p.m. on VH1.